He calls me by my name

I am sitting in my car tears flowing and in total and complete awe as I begin to write this from the church parking lot.

Have you ever heard a word from church that there was no doubt meant just for you? A hand selected message for you by way of one of His messengers?

Okay, let me back up. So first of all, I almost didn’t make it to church. I was debating on whether or not I would go. I woke up not feeling well and it was raining. Blah blah blah. Never the less. Something in me said, get up! So I got ready and went to church.

I typically sit close to the front in church, but not too close. I typically sit in front because I am easily distracted by folks getting up, walking out, talking, etc.

When I walked into church, somebody was sitting in “my seat”. Saints y’all know what I mean, lol. I was a little thrown off, lol. So something told me to just sit down somewhere. So I did. I hurried up and sat down. And that just so happened to be front and center. Nobody else was sitting around me. And I’m not gonna lie, I felt a bit uncomfortable. I thought about getting up and changing seats but that would have been way to obvious. Anyway, here I am, sitting directly in front of the pulpit. Like head on. Almost uncomfortably head on. I had to look up to see, lol.

Anyway. Church begins. They introduce the guest preacher, Dr. Jo’el Gregory.

He walks up to the pulpit and the first thing he did was recite Psalm 103.

If you don’t know, that’s my most most most favorite bible passage, of all time. I memorized this passage very shortly after diagnosis when I was a teenager and I would recite it daily in the shower.

I smile. I chuckle really.

In that moment, I immediately knew. I knew why I was front and center. I knew I was supposed to be here and I knew why the spirit led me to sit where I was sitting.

Or should I say, something in me knew.

Then Dr. Gregory said, if I had to title this message it would be called, “Inaudible Conversations and Unstoppable Restorations.”

Are you kidding me?!? Like, are you really kidding me?

please see and scroll down to my previous Facebook post dated August 29, 2023

I smile. I chuckle.

Then he read the scripture for the message, Luke 22:31-32

“And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: 32 But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.”

He begins to paint a picture of what “sifting as wheat” means.

So, what does “Sift you as wheat” mean?

Satan wanted to “sift Peter as wheat,” is a metaphor that could also be expressed as “shake someone apart” or “break a person down.” This means that the devil wished to shake Peter’s faith so forcefully that he would fall, proving that God’s faithful servant was lacking?

Tears start falling down my face.

Because if this wasn’t an accurate description of my life right now. I don’t know what is. Your girl has been going through it or so it seems. I genuinely feel like for some reason the devil has been attacking every single aspect of my life.

And right now, I am walking into a season of the unknown.

In other words, I am being sifted.

I think it’s only natural to be fearful or anxious about that. But I take great comfort in knowing that God goes before me. I take great comfort in knowing that He did it before and He will do it again.

During his entire message I’m quietly weeping. I can honestly say I’ve never had that experience during a sermon. Not while someone is preaching at least. Or not like that. During praise and worship, sure, of course. But just sitting there, calm, listening, weeping, and smiling. Peacefully weeping. No, never.

I was smiling because I knew, I was crying because I am in awe of how My God calls me by name. I knew, God was talking to me and He wanted me to hear this message.

I mentioned before, that through it all, through “this fight” that is my life, God sends me subtle reminders that everything will be okay. Today, was another reminder. Far from subtle, but a reminder none the less.

I take great comfort in knowing that God is within me.

The amount of peace that has covered my life the past few weeks has been indescribable. Because if you know what I know, that being at peace in a time of despair is a miracle in itself. And mostly for the past few months, peace, has escaped me. Actually, that was one of the warning signs to me that something was wrong. Because in spite of my life, there is a peace that fills me that I can not explain.

I take comfort in knowing Philippians 4:7 to be true, He will give you peace that surpasses all understanding. Even my understanding to a certain extent, haha. I was at peace even after getting the results back from the MRI. It goes and comes though. Or should I say specifically, yesterday, peace escaped me. So when that happens, I will pray on and take comfort in knowing that Jesus has prayed for me to remain strong in my faith.

Luke 32:32 …. “….but I myself have prayed for you that your faith may not fail”

I can see it and feel it being played out in my mind, the devil is actively trying to shake your faith because he knows the calling on your life. Even though you might forget, the devil knows whose you are. He comes from every angle, attacks your job, your peace of mind, your faith, your family, your health. It feels as if this storm will never end. And then, just when the devil thinks he has you. When you’ve almost given up. You faintly hear Jesus boldly proclaiming and praying, “This one is mine!”

Oh, how he calls me by my name!

When Dr. Gregory finished, my preacher came to the pulpit and shared that Dr. Gregory preached a different sermon at the earlier service. Typically, the same sermon is preached at each service.

Without a shadow of a doubt. Yes, this message was meant for me to hear.

Sometimes, God calls you by name, signals you out, puts you front and center with no distractions to ensure that without a shadow of doubt you know it’s Him.

I take great comfort in knowing that the one that goes before me, is praying for me to make it through to Him.

Yes, I am being sifted, but I am being prayed for and over by the one who strengthens and restores. What I know for sure is, without a shadow of doubt, my restoration is on the way.

Despite what the devil is trying to do, nobody can stop what God will do.